5 Worst Actor Transitions From Television To Movies

It's common knowledge that success in Television doesn't always translate into success on the silver screen. But it doesn't always stop those from trying. Here are the worst transitions from TV to Movies.

5. Roseanne - Hollywood could even recognize she was made for Television yet box office poison but it didn't stop her from trying. Her first leading role in a feature film (She-Devil) even made her costar Meryl Streep look like a b-movie star. Society doesn't mind watching her offend people for free, but when you have to pay $10 and eat stale popcorn, people will think twice.

4. Cast of Friends - There was much anticipation by viewers for each of the cast members to make their feature film debut. Each initial project was a HUGE failure. The only cast member who figured out the correct path to make it to film was Jennifer Aniston who married Brad Pitt. I'd hate to see a world where Pitt was homosexual, married Matt LeBlanc. The horror.... the horror. It doesn't look the Hollywood is banking on the remaining cast anymore. But beware, someone... somewhere is writing ED part 2... be afraid, very afraid.

3. David Caruso - For 15 years you'd played supporting roles in movies with success. But they were minor roles for a reason. Somehow you land a starring role in the popular television show NYPD Blue and that movie itch was stronger than it ever was. So you bite the hand and leap to the big screen. The good news is the starring roles don't fade away, the bad news is the movies are as bad as your crappy one liners. Caruso, you've been given another hug by Television, we recommend you don't blow it.

2. Bronson Pinchot - Ironically it was movies that made him what he was. His small role as Serge in Beverly Hills Cop paved the way to his major television success as Balki Bartokomous in Perfect Strangers. 150 episodes later he left Television to conquer the big screen. After a few film failures (Second Sight, Blame it on the Bellboy) he made a few attempts back to Television. Learning that people loved Balki, not Bronson, he was reduced to voice over work and even a run on The Young and the Restless. Of course let's not forget VH1 Reality TV which is nail in the coffin to a legitimate career. Sorry Cousin.

1. Shelley Long - So you're on one of the most popular Television shows in history (Cheers) and you're considered one of it's contributing factors. Do you (a) stay on and help keep it a success or (b) let it go to your head and try to force the next step? If you're Shelley Long you take B. Also if you're Shelley Long you prove to critics that a great show can prosper without you and that you're comedic talents aren't strong enough to keep a movie audience entertained for 90 minutes. Don't worry Shelley, as long as they keep making straight to DVD Brady Bunch movies then you'll keep getting work.

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Top 5 Celebrities Who Just Need To Stop Talking

We love to watch our celebrities fill our televisions and movie screens with their performing flair. There is a reason they are so entertaining, they're reading from a script. A script written by a professional who is out for their greater good. Every once in a while an actor feels they're beyond these well thought out chunks of words and decides to speak out on their own. Sometimes even about personal opinion. It gets worse, they think we care. Here is a list of celebrities who would do themselves and the world a great favor by shutting the f**k up.

5. Martin Sheen - Sheen has taking a few too many Presidential movies to the head without a helmet and is actually beginning to believe he is just that important. He protests anything put in front of him just as long as he thinks he is against it. Why can't he just fade away into obscurity like the two out of his three sons who aren't doing anything anymore. I can't remember which ones they are.

4. Alec Baldwin - Of all the Baldwin brothers to have a voice, why is it him. I'd rather hear Daniel Baldwin talk about the tranny hooker he OD'd with washer fluid and left for dead in Pasadena than listen to Alec tell another "I hate Cheney" story. Charisma doesn't pad your liberal hoopla and bluffs to move to Canada if the wrong guy is elected again. You hint you'd like to run for office someday. Let's first see you clean up the United States of Baldwin Brothers for a day and see if you can keep at least one out of jail, tabloids or an Vh1 reality show.

3. Rosie O'Donnell - O'Donnell will oppose anything just to hear the loud bass of her man-style vocal cords. She cackles against religion to gun control (I'd be more worried about harpoon control if I was her) and knows those around her will listen due to fear of being eaten otherwise. Fortunately for us there aren't too many venues she can still be kicked off of, so her soapbox is getting very small and soon will shatter under the weight of her own ego. I just pray no small children are crush during the horrific catastrophe. The horror!

2. Megan Fox - We like our beauties to be silent. Whether it's during dinner, a movie, sex or now... red carpet interviews. Every time Megan Fox speaks without a script baby Jesus cries and her hotties points go down .062. She is declining to a 8.7, soon to be on the same page as Scarlett Johansson. Well guess what Fox, I don't masturbate to Johansson anymore. Do you want that on your shoulders? Do us all a favor, stop talking incoherently and giving us unfortunately and scarring images of you sporting Alan Alda's penis in your dress.

1. Tim Robbins & Susan Sarandon - Though two people, they share one mind and therefore count as a single person. Though both are barely holding onto careers and their combined voices don't have the clout it did a decade ago. They hold the #1 spot due to stress they have caused me when trying to enjoy one of the best films ever made, Bull Durham.



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5 Out of Work Actresses Who Need to Show Their Breasts

There is a time in an actresses career when sheer talent can keep them in the limelight and the constant offerings of Hollywood’s best movie or television roles. Then comes a time when they are spit out and left for reality TV. How can this course be altered? Show your boobs before it’s too late. But even if you’re past the point of gravity friendly shower scenes, it’s never too late to try. Here are a list of faded-away celebs who just might get back on track with a good topless scene.

Alicia Silverstone (Clueless, The Crush) – Once a teen movie sweetheart who dazzled and teased with cute stupidity and sexy eye rolls, now bouncing from bad movie to failed sitcom. What could be her rise to fame again? My recipe for success would be two shower scenes, one steamy sex scene and close up running on the beach topless. Add these to your next movie role and soon Hollywood will coming knocking on your door again with a boner and a role in the final Harry Potter.


Lisa Dean Ryan (Doogie Howser, M.D) – Best know as Doogie’s Wanda and pretty much nothing else, she was so close to the brass ring. What went wrong? She never even went as far as a nipple slip. After the show went off the air and her phone stopped ringing she should have greased those babies up and hit the red carpet. Some suggest it might be too late. I feel not. My recipe for success would be a nude wrestling match with Wonder Years’ Winnie - Danica McKellar . Did I just purr?

Melissa Sue Anderson (Little House on the Prairie) – Oh my sweet Mary, even when your character went blind I knew were looking right at me. Sure I flirted with Half-Pint a little, but it was all to get to you. What happened after they blew up the town? You became a stay home mom. Well don’t give up so quickly. We all knew under that homemade dress there was a nice set of boobies. Now it’s time to let them free. I smell a nice role coming up for you if you do. My recipe for success is a naked pool scene followed by a 2 nip slips and a sex tape. You’ll have your own reality show and book deal before you can scream ‘Pa’.

Ari Meyers (Kate & Allie) – The cute daughter on the oddly surviving 80’s sitcom whose career failed so miserably afterwards she did a guest spot on Diagnosis Murder. My guess is Scott Baio won’t even return her calls now. Many of us haven’t given up on you. It’s not too late to bath in the sun of the silver screen. I for one would love to see a little skin on BluRay. My recipe for success?

Porn.

I will admit it might not help you completely but will help me immensely.

Candice Michelle (Go Daddy Girl, Wrestler) – I honestly don’t care about your career, I just want to see your boobs.

Well, when searching for an image I discovered you already did show them. Hmmmm, didn't help your career after all, you dirty whore.

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