5 Worst Actor Transitions From Television To Movies

Monday, June 1, 2009

It's common knowledge that success in Television doesn't always translate into success on the silver screen. But it doesn't always stop those from trying. Here are the worst transitions from TV to Movies.

5. Roseanne - Hollywood could even recognize she was made for Television yet box office poison but it didn't stop her from trying. Her first leading role in a feature film (She-Devil) even made her costar Meryl Streep look like a b-movie star. Society doesn't mind watching her offend people for free, but when you have to pay $10 and eat stale popcorn, people will think twice.

4. Cast of Friends - There was much anticipation by viewers for each of the cast members to make their feature film debut. Each initial project was a HUGE failure. The only cast member who figured out the correct path to make it to film was Jennifer Aniston who married Brad Pitt. I'd hate to see a world where Pitt was homosexual, married Matt LeBlanc. The horror.... the horror. It doesn't look the Hollywood is banking on the remaining cast anymore. But beware, someone... somewhere is writing ED part 2... be afraid, very afraid.

3. David Caruso - For 15 years you'd played supporting roles in movies with success. But they were minor roles for a reason. Somehow you land a starring role in the popular television show NYPD Blue and that movie itch was stronger than it ever was. So you bite the hand and leap to the big screen. The good news is the starring roles don't fade away, the bad news is the movies are as bad as your crappy one liners. Caruso, you've been given another hug by Television, we recommend you don't blow it.

2. Bronson Pinchot - Ironically it was movies that made him what he was. His small role as Serge in Beverly Hills Cop paved the way to his major television success as Balki Bartokomous in Perfect Strangers. 150 episodes later he left Television to conquer the big screen. After a few film failures (Second Sight, Blame it on the Bellboy) he made a few attempts back to Television. Learning that people loved Balki, not Bronson, he was reduced to voice over work and even a run on The Young and the Restless. Of course let's not forget VH1 Reality TV which is nail in the coffin to a legitimate career. Sorry Cousin.

1. Shelley Long - So you're on one of the most popular Television shows in history (Cheers) and you're considered one of it's contributing factors. Do you (a) stay on and help keep it a success or (b) let it go to your head and try to force the next step? If you're Shelley Long you take B. Also if you're Shelley Long you prove to critics that a great show can prosper without you and that you're comedic talents aren't strong enough to keep a movie audience entertained for 90 minutes. Don't worry Shelley, as long as they keep making straight to DVD Brady Bunch movies then you'll keep getting work.

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Signs You're the Geekiest Guy at Your Class Reunion

Thursday, May 28, 2009


11. You still IM your friends on your blackberry, even though you're all in the same room.
10. You've been put in charge of the video slide show at the event, because you're the only one from the A/V club there.
9. You make jokes about binary that no one gets about being at the 10 year reunion 8 years ago, but nobody was there.
8. Your tie has a circuit diagram on it (this actually happened to me).
7. You have to "dumb down" what you do for a living.
6. The cheerleaders ask you for help on their taxes... and you help them.
5. You write a top 11 list about your class reunion for your geek humor Web site during the dinner.
4. You brought your character sheets hoping an impromptu D & D game breaks out.
3. You talk about the font used on the name tags as an ice-breaker.
2. Nobody is returning your Vulcan salutes.
1. No one remembers you as being part of the graduating class.


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6 Sci Fi Shows They Need To IMMEDIATELY Remake

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

With the success of the new Battlestar Galactica and excitement of the upcoming V series, you'd have to think Hollywood is going loco over what series to make next. Well, I can answer that question right now. Here are 6 science fiction televisions shows you better be remaking immediately.

6. Space 1999 - After Gerry Nation's Thunderbirds proved a success across the world and especially in America his next live action drama featured a cast of English and American stars in the popular science fiction offering Space 1999. In 1999 (then many years away) a team of scientists on a moon base are experimenting when a massive explosion causes the moon to swing out of the Earth's orbit and travel continuously through the galaxy, leaving ours and entering others. Led by Commander John Keonig (Martin Landau) each new show allowed the space adventurers to meet new alien life forms, most of which were bad. There was a massive illusion that surrounded Space 1999 and that was that people assumed that it went on for longer than it did, with shows being screened for years despite the fact that only two series featuring 48 episodes were ever made. If course they'd have to change the name... but I smell awesomeness.

5. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century - American science fiction adventure television series produced by Universal Studios. The series was developed by Glen A. Larson and ran for two seasons, from 1979 - 1981. The feature-length pilot episode for the series was released theatrically several months before the series aired. The series centered on Captain William Anthony "Buck" Rogers, played by Gil Gerard, a NASA pilot who commands Ranger 3, a space shuttle that is launched in May 1987. Due to a life support malfunction, Buck is accidentally frozen for 504 years before the derelict spacecraft is discovered in the year 2491. The combination of gases that froze his body coincidentally comes close to the formula commonly used in the 25th Century for cryopreservation, and his rescuers are able to revive him. He learns that the Earth was rebuilt following a devastating nuclear war on November 22, 1987, and is now under the protection of the Earth Defense Directorate.

4. Earth 2 - A short-lived science fiction television series which aired on NBC from November 6, 1994 to June 4, 1995.The show was canceled after one season of 22 episodes. It followed the journey and settlement of a small expeditionary group called the Eden Project, with the intent to journey to an Earth-like planet called G889 in an attempt to find a cure to an illness called the Syndrome. No clue why it didn't run longer but with a little love this should could be amazing (think LOST on another planet)

3. My Favorite Martian - A human-looking extraterrestrial in a one-man spaceship crash-lands near Los Angeles. The ship's pilot is, in fact, an anthropologist from Mars and is now stranded on Earth. Tim O'Hara, a young newspaper reporter for The Los Angeles Sun, is on his way home from Edwards Air Force Base (where he had gone to report on the flight of the X-15) back to Los Angeles when he spots the spaceship coming down. Imagine if they took out the campy jokes and replaced it with a little action? This should today could be amazing.

2. Greatest American Hero - An average school teacher, Ralph Hinkley (played by William Katt), and an aging FBI agent, William "Bill" Maxwell (Robert Culp), are approached by aliens who give Hinkley a super suit. When worn, the suit will allow Hinkley to have super human powers and help mankind. The one problem, Hinkley loses the directions. This classic ran from 1981 to 1983 and also featured a young and lovely Connie Selleca, who played Hinkley's girlfriend then wife, Pam Davidson Hinkley. It was beat up horribly by bad writing and green screen FX, if a little money was put behind this show today it could rule the world.

1. Alien Nation - Alien slaves, bred to be super intelligent and strong, crash on Earth. These "Newcomers" are assimilated into society. The show focused on one of them, George Francisco, who becomes a police detective partnered with a human cop, Matthew Sikes. They fight crime, learn to respect each other's cultures, and fight the new bigotry between humans and aliens. Already a proven theater and television success, and with the new love of Sci Fi... I would have to think someone was already working on this one. DO IT!




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Top 5 Celebrities Who Just Need To Stop Talking

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

We love to watch our celebrities fill our televisions and movie screens with their performing flair. There is a reason they are so entertaining, they're reading from a script. A script written by a professional who is out for their greater good. Every once in a while an actor feels they're beyond these well thought out chunks of words and decides to speak out on their own. Sometimes even about personal opinion. It gets worse, they think we care. Here is a list of celebrities who would do themselves and the world a great favor by shutting the f**k up.

5. Martin Sheen - Sheen has taking a few too many Presidential movies to the head without a helmet and is actually beginning to believe he is just that important. He protests anything put in front of him just as long as he thinks he is against it. Why can't he just fade away into obscurity like the two out of his three sons who aren't doing anything anymore. I can't remember which ones they are.

4. Alec Baldwin - Of all the Baldwin brothers to have a voice, why is it him. I'd rather hear Daniel Baldwin talk about the tranny hooker he OD'd with washer fluid and left for dead in Pasadena than listen to Alec tell another "I hate Cheney" story. Charisma doesn't pad your liberal hoopla and bluffs to move to Canada if the wrong guy is elected again. You hint you'd like to run for office someday. Let's first see you clean up the United States of Baldwin Brothers for a day and see if you can keep at least one out of jail, tabloids or an Vh1 reality show.

3. Rosie O'Donnell - O'Donnell will oppose anything just to hear the loud bass of her man-style vocal cords. She cackles against religion to gun control (I'd be more worried about harpoon control if I was her) and knows those around her will listen due to fear of being eaten otherwise. Fortunately for us there aren't too many venues she can still be kicked off of, so her soapbox is getting very small and soon will shatter under the weight of her own ego. I just pray no small children are crush during the horrific catastrophe. The horror!

2. Megan Fox - We like our beauties to be silent. Whether it's during dinner, a movie, sex or now... red carpet interviews. Every time Megan Fox speaks without a script baby Jesus cries and her hotties points go down .062. She is declining to a 8.7, soon to be on the same page as Scarlett Johansson. Well guess what Fox, I don't masturbate to Johansson anymore. Do you want that on your shoulders? Do us all a favor, stop talking incoherently and giving us unfortunately and scarring images of you sporting Alan Alda's penis in your dress.

1. Tim Robbins & Susan Sarandon - Though two people, they share one mind and therefore count as a single person. Though both are barely holding onto careers and their combined voices don't have the clout it did a decade ago. They hold the #1 spot due to stress they have caused me when trying to enjoy one of the best films ever made, Bull Durham.



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Top 11 Reasons a Terminator Makes a Good Pet

Thursday, May 21, 2009

11. If it ever runs away you can be sure that it'll be back.

10. More socially acceptable than zombies

9. Much better at math than a dog.

8. No archaic laws about having sex with it.

7. Built in Xbox 360 emulator a money saver.

6. Can protect you against the frakkiin' toasters.

5. "Destroy" is a much better trick than "Sit."

4. Instead of annoying barking or meowing, you get memorable quotes.

3. That dick John Connor will no longer bother you at recess.

2. Alimony payments mysteriously disappear.

1. Free wifi.

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20 Things You Didn't Know About HOUSE M.D.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

20. The show takes place in the Mercer County area of New Jersey. In the opening credits, there are shots of various locations around the area of Princeton, Trenton, West Windsor, and Plainsboro, including Princeton University. The hospital, Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, is based on a real hospital in Princeton, Princeton Hospital, the University Medical Center at Princeton. An Executive Producer and the director of the pilot episode, Bryan Singer, is from the area, and attended West Windsor-Plainsboro High School.

19. Hugh Laurie's own father was a doctor, and he feels a twinge of guilt at "being paid more to become a fake version of my own father."

18. During Hugh Laurie's audition, producer David Shore told how Bryan Singer, one of the executive producers, said, "See, this is what I want; an American guy." Singer was completely unaware of the fact that Hugh Laurie is British.

17. Although the Diagnostic Medicine team deal with all types of diseases, House and his colleagues hold titles in various subspecialties: Dr. Foreman is a neurologist; Dr. Cameron is an immunologist/allergist; Dr. Chase is an intensivist. As for Dr. House, he is double-certified in infectious disease and nephrology

16. The show was inspired by The Diagnosis Column in the New York Times Magazine which spotlights unusual medical cases. Executive Producer Paul Attanasio came up with the concept and pitched it to the networks as a medical procedural. Creator David Shore revised the idea into a character drama where the medical cases became the instrument instead of the focus of the storytelling.

15. In his office, Dr. Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) has posters from movie Robert Redford's Ordinary People and the classic films Orson Welles's Touch of Evil and Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo.

14. The Production Company credit at the end of the show for Bad Hat Harry productions ("That's some bad hat, Harry") is a reference to the movie Jaws.

13. Jesse Spencer and Jennifer Morrison became engaged in December of 2006. This was at roughly the time they were shooting the first episodes in which their characters, Dr. Chase and Dr. Cameron, began a romantic relationship.

12. Dr. Gregory House was based on Sherlock Holmes... but Holmes, in turn, was based on a Doctor that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle knew while studying medicine, a Dr. Bell, whose specialty was diagnosis.

11. Robert Sean Leonard was the first actor to be cast.

10. Sándor Szakácsi, the Hungarian voice of Dr. House died in March 2007, he could only finish the dubbing of 11 episodes of the second season. As a tribute to him, the TV channel decided to use the unfinished work, therefore in the first half of episode 12 of season 2 we still hear Sándor, then the new voice, János Kulka takes over the job. The commercial break (there is only one in Hungary) is inserted where the change takes place - actually in the middle of a scene.

9. From a promo picture for the show's fourth season, it was discovered that Dr. Wilson received his undergraduate degree from McGill University in Montreal, QC. He'd been seen previously wearing a McGill sweater. He also received a degree from Columbia University's "School of Oncolgy" [sic].

8. On "Inside the Actors Studio", Hugh Laurie admitted that when he first read the script for House (which did not have the title of "House M.D." at the time) he believed that the character of Wilson was the lead. He just couldn't believe that a man such as House could be the star of the show.

7. In the episode where Wilson moves in with House (Season 2), House's Tivo list is shown. One of the saved programs is "Blackadder II", featuring Hugh Laurie.

6. Hugh Laurie auditioned for the part of Dr. House via video shot in a hotel bathroom in Namibia, where he was shooting Flight of the Phoenix. "It was the only place with enough light," the actor claimed.

5. The tagline, "Humanity Is Overrated" was used in Finland. In November 2007 Pekka-Eric Auvinen shot to death 8 people in Finnish school and used same phrase, following which the phrase was removed from the show's website.

4. Three out of six original cast members are left-handed: Cuddy, Foreman and Wilson.

3. In April 2009, Kal Penn told Entertainment Weekly Magazine that the writers killed off his character on "House M.D." because he had asked to be allowed to leave the show to go work for the Barack Obama Administration as the Associate Director in the White House Office of Public Liaison.

2. Many of the actors that have been featured on House M.D. have also been on the show "Psych". For example: Anne Dudek played Lucinda on Psych for the "Pilot". She also played Dr. Amber Volakis on House for all of season 3 and part of season 5. Jimmi Simpson played Mary on Psych for "An Evening with Mr. Yang". He also played Daniel Bresson on House for "Unfaithful". Michael Weston played Adam Hornstock on Psych for "Cloudy...Chance of Murder". He also played Lucas Douglas on House for part of season 5. Frank Whaley played Robert on Psych for "Who you Gonna Call". He also played Mr. X on House for "Mirror Mirror". Kurtwood Smith played Brett Connors on Psych for "Forget Me Not". He also played Dr. Obyedkov on House for "Half-Wit". Scott Michael Campbell played Wes Hildenbach on Psych for "9 Lives. He also played Joe Luria on House for both "Euphoria: Part 1" and Euphoria: Part 2". Mackenzie Astin played Jason Cunningham on Psych for "Tuesday the 17th". He also played Alan Alston on House for "All In".

1. British actor Hugh Laurie has never drawn specific attention to the fact that in British dialect, the word "cuddy" can refer to a "fool" or a "blockhead" or a "donkey".

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5 Out of Work Actresses Who Need to Show Their Breasts

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

There is a time in an actresses career when sheer talent can keep them in the limelight and the constant offerings of Hollywood’s best movie or television roles. Then comes a time when they are spit out and left for reality TV. How can this course be altered? Show your boobs before it’s too late. But even if you’re past the point of gravity friendly shower scenes, it’s never too late to try. Here are a list of faded-away celebs who just might get back on track with a good topless scene.

Alicia Silverstone (Clueless, The Crush) – Once a teen movie sweetheart who dazzled and teased with cute stupidity and sexy eye rolls, now bouncing from bad movie to failed sitcom. What could be her rise to fame again? My recipe for success would be two shower scenes, one steamy sex scene and close up running on the beach topless. Add these to your next movie role and soon Hollywood will coming knocking on your door again with a boner and a role in the final Harry Potter.


Lisa Dean Ryan (Doogie Howser, M.D) – Best know as Doogie’s Wanda and pretty much nothing else, she was so close to the brass ring. What went wrong? She never even went as far as a nipple slip. After the show went off the air and her phone stopped ringing she should have greased those babies up and hit the red carpet. Some suggest it might be too late. I feel not. My recipe for success would be a nude wrestling match with Wonder Years’ Winnie - Danica McKellar . Did I just purr?

Melissa Sue Anderson (Little House on the Prairie) – Oh my sweet Mary, even when your character went blind I knew were looking right at me. Sure I flirted with Half-Pint a little, but it was all to get to you. What happened after they blew up the town? You became a stay home mom. Well don’t give up so quickly. We all knew under that homemade dress there was a nice set of boobies. Now it’s time to let them free. I smell a nice role coming up for you if you do. My recipe for success is a naked pool scene followed by a 2 nip slips and a sex tape. You’ll have your own reality show and book deal before you can scream ‘Pa’.

Ari Meyers (Kate & Allie) – The cute daughter on the oddly surviving 80’s sitcom whose career failed so miserably afterwards she did a guest spot on Diagnosis Murder. My guess is Scott Baio won’t even return her calls now. Many of us haven’t given up on you. It’s not too late to bath in the sun of the silver screen. I for one would love to see a little skin on BluRay. My recipe for success?

Porn.

I will admit it might not help you completely but will help me immensely.

Candice Michelle (Go Daddy Girl, Wrestler) – I honestly don’t care about your career, I just want to see your boobs.

Well, when searching for an image I discovered you already did show them. Hmmmm, didn't help your career after all, you dirty whore.

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