20 Funniest Glamor Shots On The Web

Everyone wants to look pretty. It's why you buy new clothes and wipe the jelly donut off our chins. There is a limit to how much effort you can go through to look 'nice'. Glamour studios have been littering our malls for decades allowing pageant contestants and rodeo queens to look pretty for the newspaper and grandma's mantel . But if you're one of these people, you're doing it wrong. Here are 20 photos that give glamour shots a bad name.

20. The Delta Burke - Don't wear material that makes you look like a NASA satellite.

19. The Fur Factor - It looks like a Woolly Mammoth is giving birth to a black woman.

18. Blurry Hair - Airbrushing your hair isn't enough, maybe soften your face, or your jacked up teeth?

17. Man Face - Don't forget your gender when dressing for the shoot.

16. Mom and Me - Nothing spells Virgin like a glamour shot with your Mother. Can't wait to see the prom pic

15. Red Explosion - Did you just eat Molly Ringwald?

14. Ruining a Perfectly Good Hot Chick - You don't take a Picasso and cover it with a velvet Elvis. If something isn't broke don't try to fix it.

13. Not So Close - Maybe back up a little for the photo, like to the parking lot.

12. Hell and Fire - You've got a cool breeze in your hair and you look as if the photographer farted.

11. Too Many Accessories - Look in the mirror and take off the first thing that catches your eye, like your face.

10. Butch - Shave your beard before you show up.

9. NSFG (Not Safe For Glamour) - There is SO much wrong with this we don't know where to begin.

8. Country - You make us want to run off screaming into the sunset.

7. Mother and Daughter - This should be ruled as child abuse. You don't force your daughter to put on 15 lbs of make up to your 30 lbs of make up just for the slight chance an elderly man at dusk could confuse her for your sister. Something tells us it took several hours to separate their hairdos.

6. Combustible Compounds - It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know you've been smoking since the great depression. We also know the 4 cans of hairspray in your hair and the several square yards of naugahyde your wearing are about as flammable as Richard Pryor. Something bad is about to happen.

5. Eye Contact - Try and have BOTH eyes look at the camera.

4. Death Mask - We strongly feel there needs to be an age limit on these things.

3. Standing Out - Try to eat the days prior to your shoot. This will allow you to stand freely without assistance and not blend into the objects you're being photographed with.

2. Large Marge - Looking to dazzle the truck stops?

1. NO! - Find a woman, get a life, stop sleeping with your cat.

Thanks to Big Stupid Idiot

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10 Best GIS For Dumb Blondelist

Searching Google for Images is like a box of chocolates... you get the rest. We often scour GIS for items of relevance, sometimes often surprised with our results. We will be doing installments of our favorites Keyword Searches starting with part 1 - Dumb Blondes.

10. Dumb Blonde on Skates - Our first search result brings us to a flickr page showing a freshly sprayed roller blader who is apparently being chased by a naked alien on a bike. We'd like to think if the mother ship showed up, they'd be looking for more intelligent forms of life. Such as Woodchucks.

9. Dumb Blonde Math Question - In truth you'd actually need to give them this one. This is what a professor would pen 'thinking outside the box (or triangle).

8. Dumb Blonde Paris Hilton and Friends - We're actually surprised that GIS didn't litter our browser with images of the self-proclaimed celebrity. Fortunately our safe search was on. We really don't need to see her cootchie today.

7. Dumb Blonde French Girl - We're not really sure why this is labeling her dumb, but we felt we needed to add some international flare and she's pretty smoking hot.

6. Dumb Blonde Dolly Parton - This is a little awkward for us since we didn't even know Dolly Parton had hair until today.

5. Dumb Blonde Wish These Were Brains - If they were we'd already have a cure for cancer.

4. Dumb Blonde Body Builder - We'd make a joke here but we're a little concerned for our safety.

3. Dumb Blonde Studying - You're fooling no one sweetheart. Go blow your professor and get your B-.

2. Dumb Blonde Open Wide - We can only assume she is singing? Right?

1. Dumb Blonde Death Wish - We can only hope this picture was taken from afar.

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10 Pictures That Give Drunk People A Bad Name

There is a catch 22 to drinking with friends. On the good side you're with your friends having fun, sharing stories, and laughing the night away. On the bad side these same people mess your shit up as you lay passed out on the kitchen floor. But don't worry if you don't remember... they brought their cameras. Here are our top 10 favorite photos of people past out drunk.

10. Darth Banana

9. The Balancer

8. Got a Toothpick?

7. Grocery List

6. The Beer Bottle Outline

5. Bavarian Cream Pwned

4. The Balls Next Door

3. Cracking A Smile

2. Putting On The Ritz With A Sharpie

1. Pirate Princess Pickle Bunny

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15 Pictures That Give Trekkies A Bad Name

Many of us wish to live long, others have high hopes to prosper. Then there are those who want both. Those are called 'Trekkies". Trekkies may have been given a bad rap due to their anti-social behavior, their over-enthusiastic devotion, and the way a 60 minute show has overtaken their lives. Is it fair to them when we call them outcasts? Perhaps it's just the few fans of Star Trek who ruin it for the rest. Here are 15 pictures that give Trekkies a bad name.

15. Bringing A Moped To A Warbird Party - Listen, if you're going to play the part be sure to take it to the edge. 80cc's isn't going to take down the Enterprise, much less your buddy's Toyota Camry.
14. Making Mom Chief Kool-aid Officer - Involving your Mother in your social life is comparable to the Kobayashi Maru scenario, you just can't win. You're batting about .030 when it comes to picking up women in that red shirt. Bring your Mom and you just swung for the Golden sombrero.
13. The Homemade Costume - Can't you piss your savings away like other Trekkies by spending thousands on authentic costumes and props? You're embarrassing the genre by raiding your sister's closet and taping a paper badge to your shirt.

12. Wrong Date - We all understand you're suppose to seek out new life and new civilizations, but don't try to breed outside your species. Trekkies don't date DC's. Any idea what a half Flash, half Tribble would look like?

11. Bonus Dorkness - Trying to Nerd up a Trekky is like putting fuzzy dice in an AMC Pacer.

10. All Levels Of Confusion - The easiest part of this kid's 18th birthday is explaining how they spent 18 months trying to adopt him from China, from there the story is going get really weird.

9. Photo Shoot Set To Stun - If you're going to get dressed up in your favorite outfit, with your favorite stuffed animal... at least look like you're enjoying it.


8. Show Me Your Warp(ed) Core - I see man-boobs and beads, can we please pretend you bought them?

7. Change of Command - Are we being introduced to the crew of the U.S.S. Down Syndrome?

6. Phaser Safety - If you can't be responsible with your replica merchandise, then you don't deserve it.

5. Alternative Universes - Of course we have always wondered what a Dr. Crusher/Cmdr. Riker love story would entail, but to imagine it we'd like to see it in its original time line. Not the time line where both characters have let themselves go and were struggling with their addiction to Chocodiles.

4. Nebula Nuptials - We now pronounce you Dork, and Soon-to-be-exwife.

3. Don't Cross (The Legs Of) A Klingon - Play the part! Show you have brass balls that would make Kahless sweat.

2. Damage To Life Support Systems - Don't ruin two perfectly good boobies and make us decide if we like good Spock... or evil Spock better. You should just send us to the engine room instead.
1. Prime Directive - The Prime Directive dictates that there can be no interference with the internal affairs of other civilizations, consistent with the historical real world concept of Westphalian sovereignty. It has special implications, however, for civilizations that have not yet developed the technology for interstellar spaceflight ("pre-warp"), since no primitive culture can be given or exposed to any information regarding advanced technology or the existence of extraplanetary civilizations, lest this exposure alter the natural development of the civilization. Although this was the only application stated by Captain Kirk in "Return of the Archons", by the 24th Century, it had been indicated to include purposeful efforts to improve or change in any way the natural course of such a society, even if that change is well-intentioned and kept completely secret.

Dressing up this dog violates this, to the fullest extreme.

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