Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star trek. Show all posts

11 Reasons Why A Star Trek Marathon Is A Bad Idea

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


11. After sitting in front of the TV for 19 hours, your butt will look like a Klingon forehead.

10. Good luck explaining to kids that "This was for work; you can't have a movie marathon."

9. Hard to not dream up new titles for each movie that better reflect the movie itself. "Star Trek 5 AKA Fat Scotty Bumps his head."

8. You can receive a near lethal dose of Shatner.

7. You start to truly believe that Klingons bastards killed your son.

6. Flashbacks caused by seeing Seventh Heaven stars in #1 and #4 just too painful to bear.

5. Dangerous amounts of caffeine needed to stay awake for Enterprise flyby in Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

4. Confirms your suspicion that bolting an eyepatch to your skull would look totally cool.

3. Overwhelming urge to purchase the complete works of Shakespeare in the original Klingon from eBay.

2. Assimiliating your family much more difficult and painful than it looks on TV.

1. Start believing that time travel is an easy process that doesn't harm the fragile threads of history.

Thanks BBSPOT

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ReCasting Star Trek The Next Generation

Monday, May 11, 2009

With the success of the new Star Trek film, you can be assured someone somewhere is thinking of a way to revive Star Trek The Next Generation for the big screen. Though not as old, the cast has outgrown their parts. It's time to bring in younger actors to take over the roles. Lemme save someone in Hollywood a lot of time. Here are my choices for actors to take over the roles in STTNG.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard - Vin Diesel: He's already developed a SciFi following and it probably the only bald actor who is slightly more bad ass than Patrick Stewart.

Commander William T. Riker - Wil Wheaton: Why not keep it in the family. Wil has taken the time to grow it Riker tribute beard, let him show it off.

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge - Don Cheadle: If all need is a guy who can fix shit, Cheadle is your man.

Counselor Deanna Troi - Christina Ricci: If there is a single actress who can bring to the screen the unleashed sexual alien energy of Troi, it's Ricci. Plus we figure Wheaton wouldn't mind making out with her.

Lt. Commander Data - Ryan Gosling: Gosling is pretty much a robot in all his movies, I am sure he can make the transitions to Android.

Lieutenant Worf - Samuel L Jackson: In most part just to hear him say "Mother F***ing Enterprise".

Doctor Beverly Crusher - Amy Adams: Sure a lot of the crew would be faking injuries to be in sick bay... but can you argue with her bed-side manner?

Wesley Crusher - Freddie Highmore: I think Hollywood already has it in mind that if you need a young boy in a film you call this kid. So why not go with the flow.

Q - Sacha Baron Cohen: I am still in awe they never threw Q into a film. I would suggest it would be their first priority. When doing so, Cohen should be your only consideration. Also, don't give him a script.

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15 Pictures That Give Trekkies A Bad Name

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Many of us wish to live long, others have high hopes to prosper. Then there are those who want both. Those are called 'Trekkies". Trekkies may have been given a bad rap due to their anti-social behavior, their over-enthusiastic devotion, and the way a 60 minute show has overtaken their lives. Is it fair to them when we call them outcasts? Perhaps it's just the few fans of Star Trek who ruin it for the rest. Here are 15 pictures that give Trekkies a bad name.

15. Bringing A Moped To A Warbird Party - Listen, if you're going to play the part be sure to take it to the edge. 80cc's isn't going to take down the Enterprise, much less your buddy's Toyota Camry.
14. Making Mom Chief Kool-aid Officer - Involving your Mother in your social life is comparable to the Kobayashi Maru scenario, you just can't win. You're batting about .030 when it comes to picking up women in that red shirt. Bring your Mom and you just swung for the Golden sombrero.
13. The Homemade Costume - Can't you piss your savings away like other Trekkies by spending thousands on authentic costumes and props? You're embarrassing the genre by raiding your sister's closet and taping a paper badge to your shirt.

12. Wrong Date - We all understand you're suppose to seek out new life and new civilizations, but don't try to breed outside your species. Trekkies don't date DC's. Any idea what a half Flash, half Tribble would look like?

11. Bonus Dorkness
- Trying to Nerd up a Trekky is like putting fuzzy dice in an AMC Pacer.

10. All Levels Of Confusion
-
The easiest part of this kid's 18th birthday is explaining how they spent 18 months trying to adopt him from China, from there the story is going get really weird.

9. Photo Shoot Set To Stun -
If you're going to get dressed up in your favorite outfit, with your favorite stuffed animal... at least look like you're enjoying it.


8. Show Me Your Warp(ed) Core -
I see man-boobs and beads, can we please pretend you bought them?

7. Change of Command -
Are we being introduced to the crew of the U.S.S. Down Syndrome?

6. Phaser Safety -
If you can't be responsible with your replica merchandise, then you don't deserve it.

5. Alternative Universes -
Of course we have always wondered what a Dr. Crusher/Cmdr. Riker love story would entail, but to imagine it we'd like to see it in its original time line. Not the time line where both characters have let themselves go and were struggling with their addiction to Chocodiles.

4. Nebula Nuptials -
We now pronounce you Dork, and Soon-to-be-exwife.

3. Don't Cross (The Legs Of) A Klingon -
Play the part! Show you have brass balls that would make Kahless sweat.

2. Damage To Life Support Systems -
Don't ruin two perfectly good boobies and make us decide if we like good Spock... or evil Spock better. You should just send us to the engine room instead.
1. Prime Directive -
The Prime Directive dictates that there can be no interference with the internal affairs of other civilizations, consistent with the historical real world concept of Westphalian sovereignty. It has special implications, however, for civilizations that have not yet developed the technology for interstellar spaceflight ("pre-warp"), since no primitive culture can be given or exposed to any information regarding advanced technology or the existence of extraplanetary civilizations, lest this exposure alter the natural development of the civilization. Although this was the only application stated by Captain Kirk in "Return of the Archons", by the 24th Century, it had been indicated to include purposeful efforts to improve or change in any way the natural course of such a society, even if that change is well-intentioned and kept completely secret.

Dressing up this dog violates this, to the fullest extreme.


Source

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