Signs You're the Geekiest Guy at Your Class Reunion

Thursday, May 28, 2009


11. You still IM your friends on your blackberry, even though you're all in the same room.
10. You've been put in charge of the video slide show at the event, because you're the only one from the A/V club there.
9. You make jokes about binary that no one gets about being at the 10 year reunion 8 years ago, but nobody was there.
8. Your tie has a circuit diagram on it (this actually happened to me).
7. You have to "dumb down" what you do for a living.
6. The cheerleaders ask you for help on their taxes... and you help them.
5. You write a top 11 list about your class reunion for your geek humor Web site during the dinner.
4. You brought your character sheets hoping an impromptu D & D game breaks out.
3. You talk about the font used on the name tags as an ice-breaker.
2. Nobody is returning your Vulcan salutes.
1. No one remembers you as being part of the graduating class.


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6 Sci Fi Shows They Need To IMMEDIATELY Remake

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

With the success of the new Battlestar Galactica and excitement of the upcoming V series, you'd have to think Hollywood is going loco over what series to make next. Well, I can answer that question right now. Here are 6 science fiction televisions shows you better be remaking immediately.

6. Space 1999 - After Gerry Nation's Thunderbirds proved a success across the world and especially in America his next live action drama featured a cast of English and American stars in the popular science fiction offering Space 1999. In 1999 (then many years away) a team of scientists on a moon base are experimenting when a massive explosion causes the moon to swing out of the Earth's orbit and travel continuously through the galaxy, leaving ours and entering others. Led by Commander John Keonig (Martin Landau) each new show allowed the space adventurers to meet new alien life forms, most of which were bad. There was a massive illusion that surrounded Space 1999 and that was that people assumed that it went on for longer than it did, with shows being screened for years despite the fact that only two series featuring 48 episodes were ever made. If course they'd have to change the name... but I smell awesomeness.

5. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century - American science fiction adventure television series produced by Universal Studios. The series was developed by Glen A. Larson and ran for two seasons, from 1979 - 1981. The feature-length pilot episode for the series was released theatrically several months before the series aired. The series centered on Captain William Anthony "Buck" Rogers, played by Gil Gerard, a NASA pilot who commands Ranger 3, a space shuttle that is launched in May 1987. Due to a life support malfunction, Buck is accidentally frozen for 504 years before the derelict spacecraft is discovered in the year 2491. The combination of gases that froze his body coincidentally comes close to the formula commonly used in the 25th Century for cryopreservation, and his rescuers are able to revive him. He learns that the Earth was rebuilt following a devastating nuclear war on November 22, 1987, and is now under the protection of the Earth Defense Directorate.

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Top 5 Celebrities Who Just Need To Stop Talking

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

We love to watch our celebrities fill our televisions and movie screens with their performing flair. There is a reason they are so entertaining, they're reading from a script. A script written by a professional who is out for their greater good. Every once in a while an actor feels they're beyond these well thought out chunks of words and decides to speak out on their own. Sometimes even about personal opinion. It gets worse, they think we care. Here is a list of celebrities who would do themselves and the world a great favor by shutting the f**k up.

5. Martin Sheen - Sheen has taking a few too many Presidential movies to the head without a helmet and is actually beginning to believe he is just that important. He protests anything put in front of him just as long as he thinks he is against it. Why can't he just fade away into obscurity like the two out of his three sons who aren't doing anything anymore. I can't remember which ones they are.

4. Alec Baldwin - Of all the Baldwin brothers to have a voice, why is it him. I'd rather hear Daniel Baldwin talk about the tranny hooker he OD'd with washer fluid and left for dead in Pasadena than listen to Alec tell another "I hate Cheney" story. Charisma doesn't pad your liberal hoopla and bluffs to move to Canada if the wrong guy is elected again. You hint you'd like to run for office someday. Let's first see you clean up the United States of Baldwin Brothers for a day and see if you can keep at least one out of jail, tabloids or an Vh1 reality show.

3. Rosie O'Donnell - O'Donnell will oppose anything just to hear the loud bass of her man-style vocal cords. She cackles against religion to gun control (I'd be more worried about harpoon control if I was her) and knows those around her will listen due to fear of being eaten otherwise. Fortunately for us there aren't too many venues she can still be kicked off of, so her soapbox is getting very small and soon will shatter under the weight of her own ego. I just pray no small children are crush during the horrific catastrophe. The horror!

2. Megan Fox - We like our beauties to be silent. Whether it's during dinner, a movie, sex or now... red carpet interviews. Every time Megan Fox speaks without a script baby Jesus cries and her hotties points go down .062. She is declining to a 8.7, soon to be on the same page as Scarlett Johansson. Well guess what Fox, I don't masturbate to Johansson anymore. Do you want that on your shoulders? Do us all a favor, stop talking incoherently and giving us unfortunately and scarring images of you sporting Alan Alda's penis in your dress.

1. Tim Robbins & Susan Sarandon - Though two people, they share one mind and therefore count as a single person. Though both are barely holding onto careers and their combined voices don't have the clout it did a decade ago. They hold the #1 spot due to stress they have caused me when trying to enjoy one of the best films ever made, Bull Durham.



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Top 11 Reasons a Terminator Makes a Good Pet

Thursday, May 21, 2009

11. If it ever runs away you can be sure that it'll be back.

10. More socially acceptable than zombies

9. Much better at math than a dog.

8. No archaic laws about having sex with it.

7. Built in Xbox 360 emulator a money saver.

6. Can protect you against the frakkiin' toasters.

5. "Destroy" is a much better trick than "Sit."

4. Instead of annoying barking or meowing, you get memorable quotes.

3. That dick John Connor will no longer bother you at recess.

2. Alimony payments mysteriously disappear.

1. Free wifi.

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20 Things You Didn't Know About HOUSE M.D.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

20. The show takes place in the Mercer County area of New Jersey. In the opening credits, there are shots of various locations around the area of Princeton, Trenton, West Windsor, and Plainsboro, including Princeton University. The hospital, Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, is based on a real hospital in Princeton, Princeton Hospital, the University Medical Center at Princeton. An Executive Producer and the director of the pilot episode, Bryan Singer, is from the area, and attended West Windsor-Plainsboro High School.

19. Hugh Laurie's own father was a doctor, and he feels a twinge of guilt at "being paid more to become a fake version of my own father."

18. During Hugh Laurie's audition, producer David Shore told how Bryan Singer, one of the executive producers, said, "See, this is what I want; an American guy." Singer was completely unaware of the fact that Hugh Laurie is British.

17. Although the Diagnostic Medicine team deal with all types of diseases, House and his colleagues hold titles in various subspecialties: Dr. Foreman is a neurologist; Dr. Cameron is an immunologist/allergist; Dr. Chase is an intensivist. As for Dr. House, he is double-certified in infectious disease and nephrology

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5 Out of Work Actresses Who Need to Show Their Breasts

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

There is a time in an actresses career when sheer talent can keep them in the limelight and the constant offerings of Hollywood’s best movie or television roles. Then comes a time when they are spit out and left for reality TV. How can this course be altered? Show your boobs before it’s too late. But even if you’re past the point of gravity friendly shower scenes, it’s never too late to try. Here are a list of faded-away celebs who just might get back on track with a good topless scene.

Alicia Silverstone (Clueless, The Crush) – Once a teen movie sweetheart who dazzled and teased with cute stupidity and sexy eye rolls, now bouncing from bad movie to failed sitcom. What could be her rise to fame again? My recipe for success would be two shower scenes, one steamy sex scene and close up running on the beach topless. Add these to your next movie role and soon Hollywood will coming knocking on your door again with a boner and a role in the final Harry Potter.


Lisa Dean Ryan (Doogie Howser, M.D) – Best know as Doogie’s Wanda and pretty much nothing else, she was so close to the brass ring. What went wrong? She never even went as far as a nipple slip. After the show went off the air and her phone stopped ringing she should have greased those babies up and hit the red carpet. Some suggest it might be too late. I feel not. My recipe for success would be a nude wrestling match with Wonder Years’ Winnie - Danica McKellar . Did I just purr?
Melissa Sue Anderson (Little House on the Prairie) – Oh my sweet Mary, even when your character went blind I knew were looking right at me. Sure I flirted with Half-Pint a little, but it was all to get to you. What happened after they blew up the town? You became a stay home mom. Well don’t give up so quickly. We all knew under that homemade dress there was a nice set of boobies. Now it’s time to let them free. I smell a nice role coming up for you if you do. My recipe for success is a naked pool scene followed by a 2 nip slips and a sex tape. You’ll have your own reality show and book deal before you can scream ‘Pa’.

Ari Meyers (Kate & Allie) – The cute daughter on the oddly surviving 80’s sitcom whose career failed so miserably afterwards she did a guest spot on Diagnosis Murder. My guess is Scott Baio won’t even return her calls now. Many of us haven’t given up on you. It’s not too late to bath in the sun of the silver screen. I for one would love to see a little skin on BluRay. My recipe for success?

Porn.

I will admit it might not help you completely but will help me immensely.

Candice Michelle (Go Daddy Girl, Wrestler) – I honestly don’t care about your career, I just want to see your boobs.

Well, when searching for an image I discovered you already did show them. Hmmmm, didn't help your career after all, you dirty whore.

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10 Best Bikini Scenes In Movies

Friday, May 15, 2009

A good movie can became a great movie with the proper placement of a bikini scene. Example being Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle which was a horrible film, but almost watchable due to Demi Moore in a two piece. Some movies have become iconic due to their bikini scenes. Here are the top 10 best bikini scenes from movies.

10. Heather Graham - Austin Powers 2


9. Nicollette Sheridan - The Sure Thing

8. Ali Larter - Varsity Blue

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20 Things You Didn't Know About LOST

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Season Five just aired for the highly entertaining and ultra confusing ABC's LOST. There is so much we still don't know. We can't look into the future (unless we find the island) to figure out what's next, but we can do a little research and find some behind-the-scenes things. Here are 20 things you probably didn't know about LOST.

20. Jorge Garcia was cast as Hurley after J.J. Abrams saw him in "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

19. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 all added together equal 108, the total of minutes left to enter those very numbers into the computer each time, and the number of days that the castaways spent on the island before the Oceanic Six were rescued.

18. Charlie's shoulder tattoo reads, "Living is easy with eyes closed". This is a lyric from the song "Strawberry Fields Forever" by The Beatles.

17. The rocks used in the waterfall cave set are made of rubber so that the sound of the actors, and crew members walking about are not picked up on camera.

16. The part of Charlie was originally written for someone much older, but when Dominic Monaghan auditioned, the writers and producers loved him so much that they set about re-writing the part to Dominic's strengths.

15. The shirt that Sawyer wears that has a fish on it is from an actual restaurant. One of the show's creators went to Humpy's in Alaska and liked the logo so much he wanted to use it on the show. They didn't get permission to use it until much later so they took the logo from the site and made their own. No one at Humpy's knew how it got onto the show until much later.

14. ABC picked up the show before there even was a script. J.J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof had only turned in an outline and based on this ABC picked up the show.

13. When Jin is at the house of the person he is meant to kill, Hurley is on the television behind him. If you look (extremely) carefully you can see that he is wearing the grey shirt that he is wearing when the television cameras show up at the petrol station later on in the series.

12. Originally, Michael Emerson was only cast for a few episodes in season two. The producers were so impressed with his performance that they cast him as a regular and rewrote the part of Henry Gale/Ben to feature him more prominently.

11. In the original description for Kate, she was a slightly older woman separated from her husband, who went to the bathroom in the tail-section of the plane. However, that idea ended up being used for the character Rose.

10. The character of Sawyer was originally meant to be an older, slick, suit-wearing city con artist from Buffalo, NY. However, when Josh Holloway forgot a line at his audition and subsequently kicked a chair in frustration and loudly swore, the writers liked the edge he brought to the Sawyer character and decided to write Sawyer as more of a Southern, darker grifter instead.

9. John Locke was a 17th-century English philosopher who described the human being as "tabula rasa" - translated as "unwritten sheet" or "empty canvas" - at birth. It's obvious that the creators of the show were inspired by this when creating the character Locke.

8. Yunjin Kim originally read for the character of Kate. The producers felt she was not what they were looking for in Kate, but decided to create a new character for her, along with a spouse.

7. Josh Holloway was trying to cover up his Southern accent while shooting several of his first scenes in the first season. It wasn't until producer J.J. Abrams told him that the reason they cast him was BECAUSE of his accent that Holloway changed it. There are still some scenes left in the pilot where he doesn't use his Southern accent.

6. Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje came up with his own character's name, "Mr. Eko", while he and the writers were developing the character.

5. Forest Whitaker was originally cast in the role of Sawyer, but opted out of the role to direct First Daughter.

4. Jennifer Jason Leigh was approached to play the part of Libby, but she declined.

3. Ethan Rom is an anagram for "other man".

2. Matthew Abbadon is an anagram for "what bad boatmen".

1. Originally, Michael Keaton was cast as Jack. In the first draft of the script Jack was to be killed by the monster after they arrived at the cockpit. ABC told the producers that they shouldn't kill off the hero so soon in the series and the script was changed. After the change, Michael Keaton backed out of the role since he did not want to commit to a regular series.

20 Funniest Glamor Shots On The Web

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Everyone wants to look pretty. It's why you buy new clothes and wipe the jelly donut off our chins. There is a limit to how much effort you can go through to look 'nice'. Glamour studios have been littering our malls for decades allowing pageant contestants and rodeo queens to look pretty for the newspaper and grandma's mantel . But if you're one of these people, you're doing it wrong. Here are 20 photos that give glamour shots a bad name.

20. The Delta Burke - Don't wear material that makes you look like a NASA satellite.

19. The Fur Factor - It looks like a Woolly Mammoth is giving birth to a black woman.


18. Blurry Hair - Airbrushing your hair isn't enough, maybe soften your face, or your jacked up teeth?

17. Man Face - Don't forget your gender when dressing for the shoot.

16. Mom and Me - Nothing spells Virgin like a glamour shot with your Mother. Can't wait to see the prom pic

15. Red Explosion - Did you just eat Molly Ringwald?

14. Ruining a Perfectly Good Hot Chick - You don't take a Picasso and cover it with a velvet Elvis. If something isn't broke don't try to fix it.

13. Not So Close - Maybe back up a little for the photo, like to the parking lot.
12. Hell and Fire - You've got a cool breeze in your hair and you look as if the photographer farted.

11. Too Many Accessories - Look in the mirror and take off the first thing that catches your eye, like your face.

10. Butch - Shave your beard before you show up.
9. NSFG (Not Safe For Glamour) - There is SO much wrong with this we don't know where to begin.

8. Country - You make us want to run off screaming into the sunset.

7. Mother and Daughter - This should be ruled as child abuse. You don't force your daughter to put on 15 lbs of make up to your 30 lbs of make up just for the slight chance an elderly man at dusk could confuse her for your sister. Something tells us it took several hours to separate their hairdos.

6. Combustible Compounds - It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know you've been smoking since the great depression. We also know the 4 cans of hairspray in your hair and the several square yards of naugahyde your wearing are about as flammable as Richard Pryor. Something bad is about to happen.

5. Eye Contact
- Try and have BOTH eyes look at the camera.

4. Death Mask
- We strongly feel there needs to be an age limit on these things.

3. Standing Out - Try to eat the days prior to your shoot. This will allow you to stand freely without assistance and not blend into the objects you're being photographed with.

2. Large Marge - Looking to dazzle the truck stops?

1. NO! - Find a woman, get a life, stop sleeping with your cat.


Thanks to Big Stupid Idiot

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